Disorder

(Ranked 5th in the short story compo of Alternative Party IV.)

My body looks different than it used to. I think I have lost weight. It's hard to say how much, I can't remember what I used to weigh nor do I know my current mass. It must be that I have forgotten to eat. Not that there was anything edible here. I peeked in the fridge, only to be slapped in the face by its miserable emptiness. It was dark too and something in it was wrong. My whole apartment is dark. I might just have forgotten to pay the bill with my nonexistant money.

I was supposed to hunt for the damn groceries schmoceries today. I forgot to go out. It didn't even occur to me to get dressed. It would have been weird to dash out naked, but not necessarily a bad move. I've done it before, not sure whether was on purpose or not. If it was in summer, it wasn't probably that bad. That's something I remember, naked bodies are not evil.

They wouldn't have sold me things to fill my stomach anyway, would they? Clerks are really reluctant to hand out anything unless they receive money in exchange. The bastards. Not my fault losing the code to my bank account. I couldn't even call my bank, because I have no idea which one is hosting my account. Even if I knew that, I'd need a phone. I think I once had one, but something happened to it. Perhaps I lost it. Perhaps it lost me. Perhaps I exchanged it for something that in turn was lost. It's possible it didn't even exist.

Lacking nourishment, exchange potential and powerful electrons travelling through the wires. Haven't been out for days. I forgot to leave my bed. I have a feeling of misplacement, but don't know of better. My body isn't giving out any hints. It has let go of me, has probably found better company already. Makes me quite sad. How am I supposed to know what to do? I should probably leave my bed, but I can't even see through the darkness. Is it night or is there some other reason for the darkness outside, like the national darkness day perhaps? What time is it? I have forgotten about time.

There's something vital I have skipped, but I can't remember what it is like. I know it's called sleep, but how do I do it? What tools do I need and does it require plenty of effort? Does it cost something? Can I be sued for doing it the wrong way? My head is twirling and overheating. Somebody said that one shouldn't know anything by heart if it can be easily looked up. That somebody was Albert Einstein, but who is Albert Einstein? Is that my father? Am I Albert Einstein? Why does no one answer these questions for me?

I think what I really have lost isn't just few phonecalls away. It's not just a mass of random memories, it's an entity that has a soul and batteries and stuff like that. To restore it, I need more than just a phone. I need the Internet, I need God and probably also a credit card. Too bad I forgot what those things are. I need something that makes sense. Can I borrow yours? It looks unused.